Thursday, January 20

This morning the hospice aide came out by herself this morning, but Pap was not having anything for it. Gram had applied the ABH lotion (I call it his "happy cream"), but it evidently did not have much of an effect for whatever reason. He was actually quite combative, and even hit Gram. The aide, Rebecca, did manage to change some of the pads and put a dry undergarment on him, but he was still really soaked. I got here just as that was winding up, and let him calm down then got him up about 11:30. The first thing he said was "Well, I guess we didn't make it to Oklahoma City last night." I did get him in and showered and dressed, and then to the table and chair. He has been using his walker since yesterday, after Gram drove him around and to the bottom in the afternoon.

Pap has been saying "When are we going to Okie City? Are we going? Who is taking me?" He is asking about 'going home'. Perhaps for some of you, this is just the confusion talking. But in my experience as a RN at the end of life for patients, it really catches my attention. More than once while working in critical care areas, when a patient said something like that, they would actually 'go home' shortly, whether hours or a couple of days. I think that we somehow sense that when the end is near, we want to 'go home.' Some will be with our Heavenly Father, and 'going home' is a trip to Saint Peter's Gate. But regardless, it is my soft impression that there is significance to his repeated questions about 'going home'.

Margaret came in around 4:30, and fixed a really wonderful supper of potato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I did talk Pappy into coming to the table, but he only ate a few bites, and returned to his chair.

Thank you to all who do such a lot of work keeping the wood pile stocked. It was COLD this morning, and we are burning a lot of it.

One more thing. With Pap's combativeness, be sure to keep an awareness of safety. He is confused, but we want everyone to be safe. Don't let him get you in a small space that he can block you in (the bathroom) because he does still pack a wallop. He cornered Gram and was hitting her when she helped him to the bathroom this afternoon. He knows not what he does, but I am concerned. Yes, he received Haldol immediately and has been ok since.

Jamai